To Divorce Or Not To Divorce?

After writing my first blog the biggest question I wanted to look into for my second, was is it better on the child if parents get divorced or stay together clearly unhappy?

I found myself stumbling upon an article from The Huffington Post, Why a Good Divorce Is Better Than a Bad Marriage For Kids. According to Huffington, Brette Sember, a divorce expert, thinks that if parents have a civil divorce, that it’s better than staying together.

Sember’s reasoning was that it would be better on the kids because the kids wouldn’t have to watch their parents fight and argue non-stop. She explained “it is a far cry better than raising your children in abusive, angry, or deeply resentful marriage.” A loving and nurturing home is very important for children growing up so they feel like they have a safe place. Although she did admit that there are negative effects of divorce, she believes children suffer less if they’re parents’ divorce rather than staying together creating a bad environment for the children. She refers to a bad marriage to an “open wound that can never heal as the scab is picked off again and again” and she thinks if they get divorced it frees everyone from a negative lifestyle.

Researching that question brought me to my next question. What are the negative effects that divorce has on children anyways?

While looking into it I was surprised on just how much negative things can come from the result of a divorce. I read the article 9 negative effects divorce reportedly has on children By The Week. Lauren Hansen writes the article about; nine different negative effects that has been polled and reported about children falling victim to being in the middle of a divorce.

It turns out, that children whose parents who have had a divorce, have more health problems like getting sick more easily. They have a higher risk of stroke and the eight decade study shows that they even die five years earlier. Eight percent have thought of committing suicide. A 2011 study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison shows children “are more likely to suffer anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem." Victim of divorce also seem to do worse in math and social skills. Which is probably why they are also more likely to drop out of school. Studies show that children are more statistically likely to start smoking and doing drugs compared to children whose parents are still married. The result of that is that those children are also more likely to commit crimes. Inevitably those children are more likely to get divorce themselves. In fact it is believed that if one spouse has divorced parents they are twice as likely to divorce, but combined “If both partners experienced divorce as children they are three times more likely to divorce themselves.”

Some questions I still have are; Is there ways parents can save their marriage and family if they feel its falling apart? If kids get traumatized from their parents fighting can they get help and get over it before they become another statistic? What reasons do parents get divorced anyways?  I hope to find some good information to conclude my blogs.

Sources:

• http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/391822/slide_391822_4773480_free.jpg
•  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKcNyfXbQzQ
• http://theweek.com/articles/466107/9-negative-effects-divorce-reportedly-children